S E A S O N S
by Kittysprite
Summary: "The seasons change, and Eridan finds himself fading fast in its coldest days." - Abandoned by his 'friends' and what he once called 'love', Eridan is dying, fading fast and fading surely. Sollux realizes his mistake, but by then, it will have been too late.


Your name is Eridan Ampora and it is Christmas Eve.

Coldness. Dark, damp coldness. Your dull amethyst eyes watched the white flakes float freely to the ground, slowly and peacefully. The world around you had been transformed into a winter wonderland. People rushed about, getting their last-minute Christmas shopping done.

You wish you had something to do. Something instead of sitting in front of your window and watching the world move on without you.

Your house is dark and empty, a perfect mirror image of your shattered heart. You can't feel anything anymore, your fingers have gone numb and your legs have fallen asleep. You lost track of how long you spent by the window, the only source of light in your cold and empty world. Your friends have long since left you, abandoned you to the cruel talons of reality.

Your eyes stray from the halo of light and catch sight of an old laptop lying forgotten in the corner of your room. Your former boyfriend had left it behind in his haste to get out of your house, your heart, your life. Sollux Captor, the one who had stolen your heart only to return it trampled and shattered.

He left you because he thought that you had been seeing someone else. You always left late at night, and pushed him away whenever he started to get intimate with you. He had spat words of hatred and contempt in your face before he was gone in a swirl of snow, leaving you staring at your gaping front door with wide eyes.

You can feel tears blur your vision again and blink them away. A stray droplet finds its way through your mask and rolls down your cheek. You can't even muster the strength to wipe it away.

Only a month ago had you been happy, completely convinced that your joy had been for granted. Looking back on it, you have to supress a bark of laughter at your naivety back then. Feferi left you all alone after she was your only reason left. She shunned you and laughed at you, along with all the others that you had so foolishly labeled your friends.

"I don't regret it." you find yourself saying, the sound of your hoarse voice echoing in the dank room. Who are you trying to convince?

Standing, you throw on your scarf and tuck your feet into a pair of sneakers. You're out the door and into the white world before you even know it. You don't know what you're doing out here, all you know is that you need something to do to prevent yourself from wallowing in self-pity.

Keeping your face well-hidden in your frayed scarf, you make your way to the local pharmacy. A prescription note crinkled in your pocket and you brought it out. Ever since a week ago, you've had heart problems. It seems pretty ironic to you, but you can't bring yourself to care.

Nobody would mind. They wouldn't even care. Perhaps it would be better if they had one less hipster freak to bother them. The thought stops you dead. You are meters away from the pharmacy door, but you've lost the drive to propel you further.

You cannot move, as at that moment, you hear a voice. You cannot help the relief that courses through you. Even though that particular voice meant you were going to return home with fresh bruises and scratches, you find any voice welcome after your four lonely weeks of isolation.

You turn, and you see a familiar malicious grin. Vriska is grinning at you, and you catch a glimpse of Equuis behind her. Your heart leaps to your throat at the sight of the person standing beside the muscular teen.

_Sol._

You cannot breath. Vriska's taunts barely even register in your mind as your muted violet eyes, once so bright and lively, lock onto his heterochromatic ones. He doesn't have any warmth in his eyes, only coldness and contempt. It pierces your heart, slicing it into even tinier pieces.

All of a sudden, you feel Vriska's strong arms throwing you to the ground. Her foreboding grin descends upon you as you feel a sudden jolt of pain rip through your side. You wince and wait for the pain to subside before you realize that her boot had connected with your ribs. Equuis is beside her in an instant, his face twisted and his eyes hidden behind his shades. He joins her as their blows keep falling.

Pain. Pain is everywhere. You've lost track of time again as their hits rained down. You manage to raise your head slightly before her boot is there, smashing your face into the cold, wet snow. You can feel a warm liquid start to seep through your shirt and you instinctively know that it's ruined.

Even through the blinding agony of the combined pain of their blows and your throbbing heart, you manage to find a sliver of joy that Sollux hasn't joined them. He's still standing off to the side, watching emotionlessly as you are beaten until you can no longer feel your body. You don't know whether to laugh or cry.

A crunch and a fiery wave of pain washes over you, telling you that you have probably broken or fractured a bone. A strangled, distorted cry makes its way through your mouth. Your heart thumps painfully before it starts aching in an alarmingly familiar way. You curse softly that your heart problems had to start acting up right now. Strangely, the blows stop after you utter the most embarrassing sound you have ever heard. You are too tired to bring yourself to look up, but your eyes slide upwards impulsively before they widen slightly in shock.

Sollux is standing beside you, one hand clamped on Vriska's shoulder. She looks back, and he mumbles something to her so softly that your frozen ears can't pick it up. She hesitates, before spitting in your face and moving away. Her shout rang through your ears as Equuis kicked up snow and followed her in his haste to obey.

Sollux watches them go before kneeling beside you. You feel your lips move before you can stop yourself.

"Why…?" you wonder, your eyes straying up to his face. His eyes are hidden behind his dual-colored glasses. He leans forwards and brushes the tip of his nose over your cheekbone. You lift a hand to caress his face and are startled to find your fingers coming away wet. He is crying, and his hot tears are dipping onto your cheek.

"Don't…cry." You murmur, and you see the effect it has on him. His shoulders shake and he lowers his face, burying it in the nape of your neck. You are panicked and you don't know what is going on.

Sensing your confusion, he lifts your hand and you give a slight intake of breath at what you see clamped in his long slender fingers. It was your letter from the doctor at the hospital, informing you in the politest way possible, that you weren't going to make it through the next few days. You wonder if he's grieving, but it doesn't make sense to you.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice cracks halfway through his sentence and he swallows thickly. Something cold rolls down your ear and plops softly into the snow around your head. You realize that you're crying.

Tell him…tell him what? That you had less than a month to live? That you slipping away at 1 a.m. every night wasn't to go meet with a secret lover, but the doctor? That you had pushed him away because you were afraid that he'd find out and get a stupid, not to mention reckless, idea?

You search your brain to find something, anything, to say, and finally settle on the truth. "It would've been better this way." you murmur, eyes slipping closed. He panics, and calls your name. You hum weakly to tell him that you're still alive, although you feel close to dying.

It was true, to you at least, that it would've been better for him to forget you and move on, find happiness in someone else. There was no point in grieving over a condemned man, a dead man.

You tell him this, but he wouldn't have it. He crushes his lips to yours, and you're so numb that you barely register the small pressure. Your heartbeat is already slowing down, and your breath is weak and unstable. He's crying openly now, silent tears cascading down his cheeks.

You want to tell him to stop, to leave you here and go start anew, to forget about you completely, but you can't speak. Your throat is constricting and you know it's because of the tears and the anguish that you can see in his eyes. He truly doesn't want you to die. And that fact, no matter how insignificant it may seem, warmed your heart, and you find strength for one moment; strength to say three final words.

"_I love you…"_

Then the air leaves your lungs and your eyes slide shut, knowing that it would be the last time. Your heart aches with your certainty, but you smile faintly.

_Goodbye…Sol…_


End file.
